ads here
       

Go Back   Rewards1 Forums > Rewards1 > News, Announcements & Contests


 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-20-2010, 11:31 PM   #11
JoeyBaloney
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
JoeyBaloney is on a distinguished road
Smile

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Hope u liked it :D
JoeyBaloney is offline  
Old 06-20-2010, 11:45 PM   #12
Kieran
Senior Member
 
Kieran's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Norfolk, United Kingdom.
Posts: 2,336
Kieran will become famous soon enoughKieran will become famous soon enough
Default

A guy walks past a bakery, and he see's a sign on the window. "Any Sandwich, £2. If we don't stock your favourite filling, it's free". So the guy walks in and he asks for an Elephant Sandwich. The woman behind the desk informs him he'll have to return in two hours. The guy triumphantly shouted "Ha!, I knew you didn't have any Elephants, you owe me this Sandwich for free!". The woman, looking confused, says, "Oh, no, you've misunderstood me, it'll take me two hours to butter the bread".....


BOOM BOOM.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandstorm View Post
We should have something like a official Rewards1 meetup
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max Galleio View Post
And do what? Mine silver for 6 hours?
Kieran is offline  
Old 06-20-2010, 11:58 PM   #13
joeyjumanji
Elite
 
joeyjumanji's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in your grandmothers poophole.
Posts: 3,071
joeyjumanji will become famous soon enoughjoeyjumanji will become famous soon enough
Default

I love how my entry was erased
LMFAO
__________________
BITCHES BE TRIPPIN.
joeyjumanji is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 12:00 AM   #14
MeLonpan
Elite
 
MeLonpan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 3,326
MeLonpan will become famous soon enoughMeLonpan will become famous soon enough
Send a message via MSN to MeLonpan
Default

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.

We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on her forehead.
__________________
MeLonpan is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:12 AM   #15
²°²
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,195
²°² will become famous soon enough
Default

One night Billy wanted to sleep in his moms room. "Mommy, can I sleep in here?" She agreed. Later that night, Billy awoke his mother. "Mommy, can I play with your bellybutton?" Confused, she said "Okay Billy." A few seconds later Billy's mom screams "Billy! Thats not my bellybutton!" And Billy says "Thats not my finger!"
²°² is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:27 AM   #16
Pyros
From the Ashes (R1 Staff)
 
Pyros's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 17,676
Pyros is a glorious beacon of lightPyros is a glorious beacon of lightPyros is a glorious beacon of lightPyros is a glorious beacon of lightPyros is a glorious beacon of lightPyros is a glorious beacon of light
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lastwill View Post
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
// Cause he was too chicken! ahahahaha
-slaps knee-


Yep...
Well. it was nice knowing ya o_o
... lol thats all i got.

Pyros
__________________
ProperMisconduct.com
For the lulz.
Pyros is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 10:55 AM   #17
TheKris
Senior Member
 
TheKris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,275
TheKris will become famous soon enough
Default

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
TheKris is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 11:13 AM   #18
FireStorm
Senior Member
 
FireStorm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,454
FireStorm is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to FireStorm
Default

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
__________________


Click the image above to go to my forum!
FireStorm is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 11:22 AM   #19
FireStorm
Senior Member
 
FireStorm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,454
FireStorm is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to FireStorm
Default

Sorry for the double post but Rgent are you doing the picking? Or will it be a public poll?
__________________


Click the image above to go to my forum!
FireStorm is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 12:01 PM   #20
D3
Elite
 
D3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: vai-te foder
Posts: 6,174
D3 has a spectacular aura aboutD3 has a spectacular aura aboutD3 has a spectacular aura about
Default

so a dyslexic man walks into a bra..
__________________
What a shîtty place
D3 is offline  
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.