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Dmagus
06-06-2008, 02:15 PM
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.





Here is the glorious winner:

1.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James

Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the

barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.





And now, the honorable mentions:



2.

After losing a finger in a meat-cutting machine, the chef at a hotel

in Switzerland submitted a claim to his insurance company. The

company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a

look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The

chef's claim was approved..



3.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.



4.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting

from Harareto Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his

incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered

everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers

to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very

excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't

discovered for 3 days..



5.

A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds

received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how

close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.



6.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,

which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the

clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount

of cash he got from the drawer: $15. [If someone points a gun at you

and gives you money, is a crime committed?]



7.

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab

some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over

his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor

store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on

videotape.



8.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the

woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended him. They put him in the car

and drove back to the store.. The thief was then taken out of the car

and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,

officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."



9.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and

demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't

open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered

onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The

man, frustrated, walked away.



10.

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police

arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a

motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man

admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into

the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle

declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd

ever had..



___________________



In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your

friends and family... unless of course one of the above individuals

by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be

glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.



Remember: they walk among us.

breakers22
06-06-2008, 02:22 PM
Those were awesome especially #10 :lol :lol

Dmagus
06-06-2008, 02:28 PM
3 is my favourite XD

breakers22
06-06-2008, 02:30 PM
3 is my favourite XD

That one was awesome too same with the liquor store one... forget there all funny!

Dmagus
06-06-2008, 02:38 PM
LOL, well said XD