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View Full Version : Help! ** English Class Help PLEASE!! **


MaximoMilkman
03-03-2009, 11:48 AM
Hello guys.. Well I failed my persuassive essay with a 65! I need to Re-edit it for 10 extra points giving me a 75.. Anyways I need some help are these participle phrases used in this poem?? I wrote it but im not sure if they are all participle phrases? If they are please tell me.. IF They are not please give me an example of what would make it a participle phrase..




I am a snowboarder
Covered with green,black,and gray, I'm easily camouflaged.
Feeding on terrain parks,fresh powder, and rails I can not be tamed.
Having a well waxed board, I do not have time to slow down.
Leaving the rest in the dust, I am a snowboarders nightmare.

I am a snowboarder
wondering about future conditions.
hearing stories on the chairlifts.
wanting to go fast but stay in control.

I am a snowboarder
pretending that I can fly.
feeling all the damage done.
toughing out every inch of powder.
worrying about my next fall.

I am a snowboarder
understanding my limits.
feeling the winds chill.
dreaming to be high.
thriving to be the best I can.
hoping for a smooth landing.

I am a snowboarder

MaximoMilkman
03-03-2009, 01:46 PM
Anyone can help with this problem.. this is my second version...

I am a snowboarder
Covered with green,black,and silver, I'm easily camouflaged.
Feeding on terrain parks,fresh powder, and rails I can not be tamed.
Having a well waxed board, I do not have time to slow down.
Leaving the rest in the dust, I am a snowboarders nightmare.

I am a snowboarder
Wondering about future conditions, Makes me anxious.
Hearing stories on the chairlifts, Makes me nervous.
Wanting to go fast but stay in control, Makes snowboarding difficult.

I am a snowboarder
Pretending that I can fly, Takes me away from reality.
Feeling all the damage done, I groan in agonizing pain.
Toughing out every inch of powder, Makes my muscles sore.
Worrying about my next fall, Makes me nervous.

I am a snowboarder
Understanding my limits, is necessary.
Feeling the winds chill, chills me to the bone.
Dreaming to be high, Gets me excited.
Thriving to be the best I can, Will increase my skill level.
Hoping for a smooth landing, has no real effect on landing.

I am a snowboarder

Pyros
03-03-2009, 02:00 PM
http://www.siskiyous.edu/class/engl52/reynoldss/n_participles.htm

Well unless your teacher is anal it should be correct. That is anal about the fact that you write I am a a snowboarder lol isnt a participle phrase.

Also you got some errors in your grammer/techincal writing. For example:
Understanding my limits, is necessary.
should just be
Understanding my limits is necessary.

Pyros

Eric Sherman
03-03-2009, 02:02 PM
That's not a persuasive poem... My understand is that you need to be persuading somebody to do something, ie snowboard.

MaximoMilkman
03-03-2009, 02:21 PM
Lol no not a persuassive poem the 2 are unrelated... lol.. sorry